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If this is your first visit, welcome! This site is devoted to my life experiences as a Filipino-American who immigrated from the Philippines to the United States in 1960. I came to the US as a graduate student when I was 26 years old. I am now in my mid-80's and thanks God for his blessings, I have four successful and professional children and six grandchildren here in the US. My wife and I had been enjoying the snow bird lifestyle between US and Philippines after my retirement from USFDA in 2002. Macrine(RIP),Me and my oldest son are the Intellectual migrants. Were were born in the Philippines, came to the US in 1960 and later became US citizens in 1972. Some of the photos and videos in this site, I do not own. However, I have no intention on infringing on your copyrights. Cheers!

Sunday, July 28, 2024

Bridge as Un ( Serious) Leisure Activity



 / 
July 26, 2024
 / From my BBO news and would like to share it with my Bridge Friends here at THD





Bridge as an (Un)serious Leisure Activity

How Playing Bridge can Improve Well-being

This was going to be a column on the cognitive challenges that bridge offers as it's an important topic and many of us enjoy the mental training that comes about from learning and problem solving. I had already started to write it when a friend of mine died. Well, he was not a close friend, but a player I knew from the bridge table. His name was Nikica Staničić. One day he was there, the next he was gone, so it came as a shock to the Croatian bridge community. Our federation is small, with fewer than a thousand members, so those who have been playing for several years get to know almost everyone. And everyone liked and respected Nikica as he was such an unassuming, modest, sweet gentleman.

Nikica took beginners' bridge lessons when he was already approaching his senior years. Together with his wife Anica, he regularly played in Zagreb bridge clubs and visited tournaments in the neighborhood. They were together for a lifetime, living an ordinary, happy life, as those who manage to unite with their soulmates do. They always played together. Anica was much more of a talent and was not exactly reluctant to point that out.

Nikica and Anica

Nikica, on the other hand, couldn’t care less for the intellectual challenge of bridge. He was not upset about bad boards, he was never ashamed of himself for making a ridiculous bid or play, and, thinking back, I don’t remember him being particularly happy when he himself would score a top. Competitiveness was not in his vocabulary. I doubt he knew that there was a ranking list of players, let alone ever checked his position.

You may remember, in my June column, I was contemplating bridge as a serious leisure activity. Well, for Nikica there was nothing serious about the game, but he thrived just from being there.

Let me explain. In their regular discussions that tended towards monologues, Anica was right more often than not, but no matter what happened, he would never utter a word or frown. I believe he was secretly so proud of her and her fighting, unforgiving spirit that he genuinely enjoyed every moment. And she knew that. She was performing for him in this imaginary life at the table. Instead of getting upset or defensive, he stayed completely calm with a mysterious smile floating in the corner of his lips. Bridge was a theater, and he was perfectly satisfied playing a supporting role. While his ambitions in bridge were close to zero, that didn’t interfere at all with his ability to take pleasure from it. On the contrary, it maybe even helped since he was not struggling with feelings of incompetence and disappointment as many do. He was just sitting there with an aura of calmness, greeting every opponent in a kind and respectful manner, waiting for the unfolding plot of another board. He enjoyed the atmosphere, cherished his wife, and was so amused with all of us fighting over a deck of cards. No matter the score, he always left the tournament happy and fulfilled.

Though he was not talkative, during the last decade I witnessed enough of his well-placed, sharp, witted observations to consider him a highly intelligent person. I am sure he could have learned bridge to a much higher level if he had given it a try. But he was perfectly satisfied with his beginners' skills and fascinated by the picturesque and dynamic bridge scenery he was a part of. And that's how bridge enriched his senior years, and how he, together with Anica, enriched bridge in Croatia.

I remember one particular club tournament when I approached them during the break. We were chatting a little about unimportant daily issues when Anica blurted out that their opponents had just bid and made three slams in a row, a single round. I hadn’t played those boards yet, so obviously they had to be canceled, and I lost the opportunity to play the slammish round. I was kind of upset, but seeing them giggling about their unintentional prank was worth missing those boards.

I can still see them standing on a cold winter night, shivering in front of the club, wrapped only in long-lasting affection, sharing a cigarette as if they were teenagers. They were carefully planning their bridge excursions, sometimes sacrificing other small indulgences to make ends meet. They rarely missed a tournament in the neighborhood, even if it meant waking up early and driving a few hours in their old car, sipping an espresso to beat the tiredness. Even in their own hard times, they were the most loyal participants in any charity tournament and gave their best to support the bridge community.

Nikica played his last tournament with his wife a few days before he died. On his final board, he scored 100%. While I was relieved to discover that, I am sure he wouldn’t have minded if it was a zero.

He was one of the most devoted followers of the Croatian Bridge Federation Facebook, cheering passionately for our teams at whichever event they attended. He liked my Facebook post regarding Croatian teams at the European Championships a day before he passed. As I am writing this, his name is still on the list of the pairs who registered for the “Club Birthday Tournament” and I don’t have the strength to remove him and Anica from the list. He is so much still here. I don’t know what happened, but I am sure Heaven is a more peaceful place now.

I often see club players arguing - after all, that is an integral part of bridge that many enjoy. However, Nikica taught me that bridge can be an important, fulfilling part of our lives even if we do not take it seriously, even if we put no effort into improving or comparing ourselves with others. By focusing fully on cards and immersing in the game, we may overlook some of its additional benefits, those that Nikica was a true expert of.

Do you know players like Nikica, or maybe, are you yourself one of them? Do we need more Nikicas in bridge to make it less stressful and more comfortable for all?

This column is dedicated to Mr. and Mrs. Staničić, as through the years they made Croatian bridge a better, more human place.

About the Author

Tihana Brkljačić is a psychologist and a bridge player. She teaches psychology and bridge at Zagreb university. She represented Croatia at multiple European championships and at The World Championship (Wuhan cup) in 2022. As a psychologist, her main areas of interest are in quality of life, well-being and communication. Additionally, she studies the psychology of games (focusing on bridge in particular) and consults players on various topics.

Happy Bridge Playing Everyone- See You all Tomorrow, Monday. July 29. 12:30PM. Bring your dollar and come 2-3 minutes early if you can,  David. your THD Monday Bridge Coordinator

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