Welcome to My Site

If this is your first visit, welcome! This site is devoted to my life experiences as a Filipino-American who immigrated from the Philippines to the United States in 1960. I came to the US as a graduate student when I was 26 years old. I am now in my mid-80's and thanks God for his blessings, I have four successful and professional children and six grandchildren here in the US. My wife and I had been enjoying the snow bird lifestyle between US and Philippines after my retirement from USFDA in 2002. Macrine(RIP),Me and my oldest son are the Intellectual migrants. Were were born in the Philippines, came to the US in 1960 and later became US citizens in 1972. Some of the photos and videos in this site, I do not own. However, I have no intention on infringing on your copyrights. Cheers!

Wednesday, November 13, 2024

What is Bromosexual Friendship?

II  found this article on my FaceBook Page the other day. What attracted my attention was the term bromosexual friendship, which reminded me of my article on Bromances in the US Presidency that I posted yesterday. I must admit that this term is fairly new to me, thus I am reposting the following article for your reading pleasure.   

I have known several friendships between gay men and straight womenbut nonsexual friendship between a gay men and a straight men is not commonly discuss in our daily conversations.  I only know of one bromosexual friendship during my graduate school years at the University of Illinois in Chicago.    

 Here's the article for your reading pleasure. Authorship information and other details are listed at the end of this article. 

"For a long time, friendships between gay men and straight men – what some now call “bromosexual” friendships – were uncommon. Homophobia was likely one reason; another was that straight men probably assumed they didn’t have much in common with gay men.

But lately, “bromosexual” friendships have started to receive more attention, acceptance and interest. They’re being explored and depicted in moviesbooks and blogs. In October, The New York Times even devoted an article in their Style section to “The Rise of the ‘Bromosexual’ Friendship.”

There are still barriers. Gay men – particularly those in conservative and rural environments – remain wary about trying to befriend straight men, fearing prejudice-fueled rejection. At the same time, many straight men still doubt that they’ll be able to relate to gay men in any meaningful way and, for this reason, may not try to initiate a friendship.

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NEW FOUNDATIONS FOR FRIENDSHIP

In some ways, when it comes to “bromosexual” friendships, the onus is on straight men. If they’re open-minded about befriending gay men and make the effort to try to forge friendships based upon common interests, gay men should feel more comfortable reciprocating.

So which straight men are the most likely to befriend gay men, and vice versa? And what determines whether these friendships prosper?

For one, the timing of when these friendships form may be crucial. We know that gay men are now coming out at an earlier age. Gay men who disclose their sexual orientation to their straight male friends earlier in life may be able to build more open and honest friendships with them into adulthood.

We believe that this same sort of unbiased advice sharing might also foster friendships between gay and straight men.

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THE OPTIMAL WING MEN?

Because of the trust they engender from straight women, gay men are uniquely positioned to be excellent “wing men” for single straight men.

There’s a prevailing belief that men — regardless of their sexual orientation — are more sexually promiscuous than women. For this reason, women are often wary of their suitors’ true intentions, which could be to deceive them in order to have sex.

The increasing popularity of dating websites and apps (which are rife with unwanted sexual advances from “nice guys”) has made women more skeptical – and has made it that much harder for men genuinely seeking long-term relationships.

However, straight women do tend to trust the dating advice of gay men (especially more than advice from straight men or women). Accordingly, straight men could get a leg up in dating from becoming close friends with gay men. For example, a gay friend could vouch for his straight friend’s good intentions to women. A straight wing man wouldn’t be able to perform this tactic as successfully because the woman might be skeptical of the straight wing man’s own intentions – which could be to woo the woman for himself.

Straight men who are comfortable with their sexuality may also act as wing men for gay male friends. Just as a gay man might be able to pass on advice about women to his straight friend, a straight man could connect his gay male friend with another desirable gay man, since neither the gay man nor his straight friend are competing for the same person.

We believe that having a trustworthy confidant to help with romantic pursuits is one of the major reasons straight and gay men are leaving the comfort of their same-sex, same-orientation friend groups to form “bromosexual” friendships.

This article was written by Eric Russell, Ph.D. Student in Social Psychology, University of Texas ArlingtonMarjorie Prokosch, Ph.D. student in Psychology, Texas Christian University, and Raymond McKie, Ph.D. Student in Psychology, Wilfrid Laurier University

This article was originally published on The Conversation. Read the original article.

Meanwhile enjoy this photo of the Persimmon Tree in our THD Garden and Orchard


Incidentally in our Salads Menu for this Week, A Persimmon and Spring Mix Salad is listed. It has Fuyu Persimmons, sliced apples, pomegranates, strawberries, candied pecans, goat cheese and mixed greens with honey balsamic dressing. It was delicious and a very refreshing salad.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I just read your post on bromosexual friendship with great interest. My best friend from childhood, a boy named Charles, came out as gay in his early twenties. Before that time, Charles and I had been very close and our families were close as well.

Charles coming out as gay has not affected our friendship in the least! As a matter of fact, Carol and I happily attended the wedding of Charles and his longtime partner, Eric, in September of 1999, just 3 weeks after our own wedding.

There is a long history of friendship between my family and Charles's family. His paternal grandmother, Paula, and my maternal grandmother, Camilla, were best friends in Vienna, Austria. Charles's father, Franz, and my mother's brother, Stefan, went to the same school growing up. Paula became a second mother to my mom when my mom came to San Francisco in 1939, and the two lived together for 7 years until my parents' marriage.

I've known Charles, whom I usually call "Charlie" since he was 2 and I was 5 years old. Our families lived in Berkeley on the same street just blocks apart from each other while Charlie and I were growing up and he and I were often in each other's homes.

While Charles's and my life paths have gone in different directions socially and spiritually in the decades since our boyhood, we are and will always be friends. John Larimore

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