Why Some People “Just Click”
A Personal Reflection After Years of Watching Human Nature
I recently read a Wall Street Journal article by Kate Murphy titled “Why Do Some People Just Click?” It explores what scientists call interpersonal synchrony, the subtle, often unconscious way people fall into rhythm with one another. As I read it, I found myself nodding repeatedly, not because the science was surprising, but because it gave language to something I have been witnessing for most of my adult life.
After more than fifteen years of blogging and many decades of simply paying attention, I’ve seen this phenomenon play out in conference rooms, hospital corridors, parish halls, family gatherings, and chance conversations with strangers. Sometimes you meet someone and within minutes it feels as if the conversation has already been underway for years. Other times, just as quickly, you sense friction, discomfort, or an unspoken resistance. Nothing dramatic is said, yet everything is communicated.
Looking back, I can now see how often my own life has been shaped by these moments of clicking.
In my professional years, I noticed how certain colleagues could work together almost effortlessly. Meetings flowed. Decisions felt clear. There was a shared cadence in how problems were approached. At the time, we might have called it chemistry or mutual respect. Only later did I realize that we were, quite literally, in sync, mirroring speech patterns, pacing, even silences. The work felt lighter because the human connection was aligned.
But I have also lived the other side of this.
I have experienced relationships, professional and personal, where that same synchrony accelerated tension. When people click too quickly, differences can be overlooked, assumptions go unchallenged, and emotions intensify before wisdom has time to catch up. With age, I’ve learned that clicking can be a fast track not only to intimacy, but also to disappointment or drama.
When I was younger, I trusted the feeling almost completely. If the connection felt right, I assumed it was right. Time has tempered that instinct. Today, I notice the click, but I don’t rush to interpret it. Experience has taught me that rhythm is not the same as shared values, and ease is not the same as depth.
What resonated most deeply in Murphy’s article was the idea that synchrony happens largely outside our awareness. That explains why these encounters can feel almost spiritual in nature, something beyond logic, beyond control. And yet, the older I get, the more I believe we are called not just to experience connection, but to discern it.
As a Roman Catholic and as someone who has spent years reflecting on human fear, continuity, and meaning, I now see clicking as an invitation rather than a conclusion. An invitation to listen more closely. To slow down. To ask whether this harmony leads toward truth, compassion, and growth or merely comfort.
There is also hope here. Synchrony, the article notes, can be nurtured through presence and attentive listening. That aligns with what life has taught me: the deepest connections I’ve known were not always instant, but they became profound because both people chose to stay attentive, patient, and open.
After years of watching people and myself, I no longer romanticize the click. I respect it. I notice it. And I place it within a larger story that only time can reveal.
Sometimes the music starts immediately. Sometimes it takes a while. And sometimes, wisdom lies in knowing when to listen rather than join in.
That, at least, is what these years have taught me.
- Wired Alike: People who naturally "get" each other often have similar brain structures in social regions, a phenomenon called homophily.
- Shared Perception: Close social networks show similar neural activity when processing stories or making sense of the world.
- Predictive Ease: When syncing, your brain's "prediction error" is minimized, making the interaction feel effortless rather than laborious.
- 250-Millisecond Gap: Research from Dartmouth College shows that "clicking" is predicted by incredibly fast response times.
- Sentence Finishing: Pairs who click often close the standard gap between speakers, nearly finishing each other's sentences.
- Physiological Alignment: You may uncannily sync up heart rates, blood pressure, pupil dilation, and hormonal activity.
- Emotional Channeling: Subconsciously mirroring subtle facial twitches allows you to actually feel the other person's happiness or anxiety.
- Vulnerability: Sharing meaningful or "gut-level" remarks creates an environment of trust that fosters instant connection.
- Language Style Matching (LSM): People who unconsciously mirror each other's use of function words (like "and," "the," or "it") feel more connected.
- Shared Humor: Shared laughter acts as a "secret signal" that you see the world the same way.
- Proximity: Physical closeness and unplanned, ordinary exchanges (like sitting near someone in a class) create the "social glue" for a click to occur.
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics & Government
1. U.S. government partially shuts down — Congress failed to pass a spending bill on time, leading to another federal government shutdown. Critical agencies could see interruptions, impacting services and funding until a new budget is approved.
2. DOJ releases final tranche of Epstein case files — The U.S. Justice Department finalized its long-running review and released 3.5 million pages of records related to Jeffrey Epstein’s network and activities.
🇺🇸 Domestic Protests
3. Widespread anti-ICE protests across the United States — More than 300 demonstrations are planned in all 50 states this weekend, part of a campaign demanding radical immigration enforcement reforms amid recent controversy over federal agent conduct.
🌍 International Conflict
4. Deadly Israeli strikes in Gaza — Israeli air attacks have killed at least 30 Palestinians, including children and police officers, marking one of the deadliest days in the ongoing conflict.
🇺🇸 U.S. Elections & Congress
5. Key special election underway in Texas — A special congressional election could flip control of the House of Representatives, narrowing the Republican majority as Democrats contest the seat.



